Join host Randy Phillips backstage with author, speaker, and HomeWord founder Jim Burns for an honest and hope-filled conversation about one of parenting’s most complicated seasons: loving and relating to your adult children.
SEASON 5, EPISODE 5
Welcome to Backstage with Randy Phillips - a lighthearted dialogue meant to inspire every heart and home to live a life of purpose.
Join host Randy Phillips backstage with author, speaker, and HomeWord founder Jim Burns for an honest and hope-filled conversation about one of parenting’s most complicated seasons: loving and relating to your adult children. Jim shares practical wisdom for parents navigating estrangement, changing values, faith questions, boundaries, finances, and the temptation to keep rescuing grown children from the consequences of their choices.
Together, Randy and Jim explore why unsolicited advice can feel like criticism, how to move from a parent-child relationship to an adult-to-adult relationship, and why “tough love” doesn’t mean withdrawing love. Jim also discusses his book When Your Adult Child Strays: Trading Heartache for Hope and offers encouragement for parents whose children have walked away from the faith or values they were raised with. From difficult cultural conversations to learning how to remain a safe person when you disagree, this episode is a reminder that parents can lead with love, hold onto truth, and stay present in their child’s story.
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TIMESTAMPS
00:00 – Season 5 Introduction: Meet Jim Burns
01:03 – Backstage With HomeWord Founder Jim Burns
02:00 – 51 Years of Marriage & Helping Families
03:48 – When Your Adult Child Strays
04:57 – When Adult Children Walk Away From Your Values
06:22 – Estrangement & the Pain Parents Carry
08:17 – Why Adult Children Don’t Want Your Advice
09:42 – Your New Role as a Parent of Adult Children
10:38 – Staying in the “Messy Middle”
11:20 – When Political Differences Divide a Family
13:30 – Guppy and the Silvery Hook Book Promo
14:36 – Common Mistakes Parents Make With Adult Children
14:52 – Helping vs. Enabling
16:13 – Money, Boundaries & Failure to Launch
17:04 – Jim’s Father’s Journey From Alcoholism to Sobriety
18:18 – When Parents Make Life Too Easy
19:58 – Creating an Exit Strategy for an Adult Child at Home
21:53 – What Tough Love Really Means
22:18 – How Parenting Culture Changed
23:10 – Rigid Parenting vs. Lenient Parenting
24:36 – Why Jim Sees Hope in the Next Generation
25:58 – Trading Heartache for Hope
26:42 – Don’t Let Your Child’s Choices Define You
27:19 – When Adult Children Question Their Faith
28:32 – Becoming a Safe Person Without Abandoning Your Beliefs
30:08 – Guppy and the Silvery Hook Book Promo
31:14 – Navigating Same-Sex Relationships in the Family
33:43 – Why Love Does Not Mean Agreement
34:14 – Talking to Children About Family Differences
36:12 – Gender Questions, Parenting & Staying Connected
39:31 – Giving Young People Time to Grow
41:14 – When Your Adult Child Strays: Where to Get the Book
42:07 – Keep Loving, Keep Praying & Stay in Their Story
42:58 – Closing Thoughts With Jim Burns
Music: This Is How I Do It - Instrumental by Josh Logan
Licensed through Musicbed (License Code: MB01ULAMGYVOEVK)